In principle, the terms FOMO and FOBO (soon about their meanings) aren’t something new in our world. It could be said they’ve existed since humans have existed. But I think we became truly aware of them in the last 30 years, with the appearance of mobile phones and social networks (and especially with social networks coming to mobile phones ^^).
FOMO (Fear Of Missing Out) is perhaps best (and most modernly) explained through two informal definitions by the author of this book, Patrick McGinnis:
“Unwanted anxiety caused by the perception, often amplified by use of social media, that others have better experiences than you”
“Social pressure as a result of the realization you’ll miss out or be excluded from a positive or memorable collective experience”
But we shouldn’t forget FOMO’s younger twin brother (who emerged from humanity’s womb just a couple of seconds after his “older” brother), which is FOBO.
FOBO (Fear of Better Option), according to the author’s definition, is the anxiety that something better could come along, which makes it difficult for a person to commit long-term when it comes to existing choices. The trouble is too many possibilities make us keep all options open to protect ourselves from risk. The result is living in a “maybe” world, dragging along both ourselves and others.
Welcome between the hammer and anvil that are with you (and will continue to be) your whole life.
Yes, yes… you’ve always known that feeling. It constantly crouches in the corner, lurks from the sidelines…
Three events are happening today. One party starts at 5pm (because, corona) and lasts until 8pm (because, curfew), the second starts at 7pm and lasts until 10pm, and the third starts at 9pm and lasts until midnight (because, it’s still corona).
What to do?
And then onto the scene steps our hybrid (FOMO+FOBO) annoying friend that each of us has, who irritates us and we can’t shake him off. I named him (and some clients accepted it because of the likeable name and association) – NEWI (NEgative What If).
NEWI immediately starts bombarding you, not to say, screwing with you:
“Bro, uh, what now… first and third party? First and second, but late to the second? Second and third party, but leave the second earlier? Go to all three? But how? Come to the first, late to the second, then come to the beginning of the third? Can you handle all three, you still have to wake up at 5:30am to catch the bus, which appears as often as Halley’s Comet, so you won’t be late for work? Hey, hey, hey… but, but what if you’re late to the beginning of the second party because you stayed at the first, and at the second something cool happens that you miss? Or leave the first party early for the second, because your crew waits for you at the second, but just then that girl you like appears? Or leave the second party early for the third, and then the third is boring, and later you hear/see on Instagram how the second party turned out great? And what if you miss…”
Blah blah blah blah blah BLAHBLAHBLAH BLAHBLAHBLAH BLAHBLAHBLAH BLAHBLAHBLAH! BLAHBLAHBLAH! BLAHBLAHBLAH! BLAHBLAHBLAHBLAHBLAH! BLAH!
The reasonable part of the brain that you (yes, you… okay, and your environment “helped” a lot too) raised in NEWI yells, yells, yells, yells and yells… and your pressure and tension grow…
The ideal cure for this fire of frustration slowly smoldering in you? “Uh, I know, I know bro, don’t worry, I’ve got your back dude!” – NEWI confidently reports and hands you a five-liter balloon of gasoline, also known as “mobile with Instagram, Facebook and TikTok installed,” to “extinguish” the fire of tension in you…
BOOM!
Well who’s that wailing at us? Maya darling, demon baby called “anxiety”!
Does all this sound too familiar?
Easy, what’s with that tense, anxious look directed at me?
I just told one naive, innocent Saturday informal hanging out scenario with NEWI, who must be everywhere a third wheel… and this was just a party scenario!
And imagine if I started telling you some life scenario related to flirting, emotions, love, family, buying a mobile phone/car/fridge/headphones…
And what if I start telling you about NEWI’S strategies for your career, investing or conversation with the boss?
Okay, just slowly, take that blood pressure medicine, and we’ll continue, with focus on the book review, I promise…
(20 minutes later)
Pressure okay, can we continue? Great.
Anyway…
The book’s author, Patrick McGinnis considers himself the creator of the term FOMO, so he often jokes he’s the first recognized fomo sapiens. That’s why he decided through his book (of the same name) to bring us closer to everything we need to know about FOMO/FOBO (or call him NEWI if it’s easier for you). That’s why on some 220 pages he placed 14 chapters and divided them into four parts and an epilogue. And those parts are:
- Fear and indecision in a world full of choices
- The hidden cost of fear
- Be decisive: choose what you really want and miss everything else
- Let FOMO and FOBO work in your favor
I assume you can already see from these sections what direction this book takes.
What’s very important to understand about this book is you must be patient. The author will take us through his life example and challenges he faced through how the coinage of FOMO came about. Here one detail appears that many readers didn’t like. The author often emphasizes how he’s the creator of the term FOMO and what significance this term had on the world… but quite often, that you can get the impression this book is pure author promotion.
Fortunately, from chapter six, the situation starts improving and we enter a more serious story.
The author will explain how FOMO affects business (“the role of perception in FOMO aspirations” and “the role of belonging in herd FOMO”), and thus us as product users (how influencers affect us, why a line of people in front of an “Apple” store resembles a herd of bison in front of a lake), why ancient Warren Buffett didn’t so easily fall under FOMO’s influence, how FOBO affects/manipulates the labor market, how FOMO and FOBO when united can create FODA (Fear of Doing Anything) which makes you torn, how decisiveness is the solution to free yourself from fears, how to set priorities in relation to risk, how to make decisions, how to outwit your own mind, how you should accept it’s okay (and necessary) to miss some things and much more.
As you see, with a bit of your patience, the author will take you from the informative part to some concrete examples and actions.
Especially interesting are the pieces of information the author gives us about the significance of digital health (and to maybe put a finger on our forehead at the fact that people at the head of the world’s largest digital companies precisely limit their children’s access to digital tools, aware of how they’re a powerful tool (weapon?) for manipulating broad masses), as well as how to use FOMO/FOBO for people who have a dilemma whether to leave a regular job for entrepreneurship, or maybe there’s some middle path as balance.
What’s the concrete solution for FOMO/FOBO, as the author also confirms, is precisely our DECISION. And that decision can be to do something or NOT do something. But we must be FOCUSED when making a decision whatever (kind) it is. Sometimes in life we have only two choices. Will you go out tonight or not? Why would you spend hours and hours questioning yourself whether to go out or not? You’re not productive. You’re neither working nor resting, and you’re spending mental energy. Weigh as objectively (and quickly) as you can FOR and AGAINST and make a decision, then what will be will be.
The author encourages you to reach a level where you’ll discover JOMO (Joy of Missing Out) for some smaller items in life. And that’s achieved by “eliminating information asymmetry,” FOMO’s main driver. More on that in the book itself.
A good part of readers will probably wonder if it makes sense to read the book “FOMO,” because with this term (as well as with FOBO and FODA) we hang out in different forms through life. Some as entrepreneurs, some as directors/managers/leaders, some as students balancing studying and fun, some through sports, some through love, some through friendships, learning about choices or time management, as well as through combinations of all mentioned… in translation, through life we accumulate quite a few (both positive and negative) experiences, and we already know how FOMO works. We all have our internal NEŠA.
But you should still read this book.
Though I myself accumulated quite a bit of “(self-)educational experience” (and for life many tell me I’m just at the beginning regardless of thinking I’m already “experienced”), I realized that somewhere halfway through I “warmed up” to this book. Though I already knew quite a lot, I noticed the “FOMO” book fills in a few “details” I overlooked/forgot/dismissed.
We shouldn’t forget that fear manifests one of our personality’s bad aspects, which takes different forms. And that’s indecisiveness. We simply start avoiding making decisions, procrastinating, weighing endlessly, watching if something better will appear “around the corner,” we’re not focused on what’s in front of us.
The point is at some moment we must analyze the information we have, listen to intuition a bit and make a DECISION to take some ACTION. But keep in mind action can also mean non-doing, but the point is not to spend our time and (emotional and intellectual) energy. We simply move forward and adapt ourselves to the situation (or the situation to us).
As you (probably) know, the verb “to decide” in English is decide. And do you know where that word originates from.
You guessed it, from Latin.
Decidere (de+caedere) = to cut off (everything unimportant except the most important).
We say colloquially “cut it already.”
In translation, make a DECISION.
Because only when we make a decision are we ready to move forward, right? 🙂
Patrick McGinnis’s book reads easily and it’s not amiss to have a pencil/marker with you. What I liked is at the beginning of each chapter there’s one quote that fits nicely into the book’s theme (in translation, it’s not placed by random principle, just to be there).
As I mentioned earlier, this is a book with which, at first, you must be a bit patient, but I think this is also a book to occasionally flip through as a reminder, as well as to occasionally self-evaluate where you are in relation to FOMO.
If you still have dilemmas about this book, then wait for some discount, then it’ll certainly justify its value.
A book with an interesting theme just happened to come at the end of this year. 🙂
And you, dear reader, are you also ready to oppose FOMO, tell NEWI to shut up, make a decision and bravely step into the new (2022) year? 🙂
Happy holidays!
Author Patrick McGinnis’s website
Book price: Finesa | Delfi | Vulkan | iLearn
Ratings (and purchase) on foreign sites: Goodreads | Amazon | Bookdepository
