- Starting Over by Eleftherios Eleftheriadis is a collection of honest reflections on love, relationships, fears, and everyday struggles, written as letters to a close friend.
- From a Christian perspective, the author explores personal responsibility, humility, and inner peace without sugarcoating reality or promising easy solutions.
- The book reads like a friendly conversation over coffee and is worth returning to, whether or not you consider yourself a believer.
“God has three answers to what we ask of him: Yes. No. Wait.” – Eleftherios Eleftheriadis
Not long ago, we were introduced to the Greek psychologist Eleftherios Eleftheriadis on these pages through his book It’s All in the Mind, and to the quiet strength and spiritual depth of his words. As I mentioned in that review, I unexpectedly came across his books in a church shop. That particular book left a really positive impression on me, gave me plenty to think about, and even prompted me to reconsider my perspective on stress.
So it’s hardly surprising that I soon decided to read another of his books. Once again, I chose instinctively/intuitively, based on the title (translation: blindly and without thinking 😁).
And that brings us to this review of Starting Over: Notes on the Everyday and the Eternal.
The subtitle probably gives you some idea of the book’s concept. Eleftherios sets conventional psychology aside and turns to writing what you might call “messages in a bottle” – letters to a dear friend, reflecting on the everyday challenges we face.
When everything builds up inside us and we don’t know what to do with all that energy. When we fail to notice the person beside us—our husband, wife, or child. How love means more than simply telling someone “I love you.” How the devil loves our boasting, but not our humility. How we are all good when things are going well, but become prideful in difficult times, revealing our true nature. How a marriage dies when the little gestures stop. How the right moment will never simply arrive – we have to create it. How we need to be patient for as long as it takes. How we need to find ways to release the negativity inside us. About fear. Disappointment. How a man should appreciate everything a woman does for their home. How it’s okay to rest. About coming back to ourselves (while there is still a self to come back to). About open and honest communication with someone close to us. How we cannot control everything in life. About coming home early one evening and doing all those important things for our family – the ones that matter emotionally. The lessons we discover as we grow older. What lasts forever. How love means freedom, not suffocation. The question we are afraid to ask ourselves.
And many, many other thoughts and reflections.
It is not a choice.
You didn’t simply wake up one day feeling stressed. Nor did you wake up depressed one day just like that…
Something brought you to that point. Something pushed you there. Something is weighing on you.
Fight as though everything depends on you, and pray as though everything depends on God…
Live that way.
To make mistakes is human. Don’t assume you’ll never make one. But do your best to have the sensitivity to recognize and admit them, as well as the courage not to remain bound to them—the courage to fight to put them right…
Let me tell you something.
Even if you don’t achieve everything you set out to, that’s okay.
As long as you’re okay, that’s enough.
You have paradise in your hands, and you don’t appreciate it. That is why your life ends up becoming a living hell…
If you leave your mind unguarded, if you aren’t careful, a thousand thoughts will enter—bad thoughts, evil thoughts, thoughts of despair—and they will rob you of your peace, interfere with your ability to function, and destroy the peace of your soul.
You know what’s worse than being hurt?
Hurting someone…
You know what’s worse than being ill?
Being the cause of someone else’s suffering…
Do you know what’s worse than dying?
Living your whole life without ever understanding what you are living for…
These are just a few excerpts from the “letters.” The author writes honestly, without sugarcoating anything. He does not shy away from pointing out where we are at fault and where the world is to blame. He does not place all the power in our hands, but neither does he hand it all over to others.
The author understands that life is hard for us and that we “swallow” and suppress a great deal. He doesn’t casually feed us fairy tales about how “everything will work itself out, just believe in yourself.” In fact, he seems to be reminding us, from a Christian perspective, that we are not meant to simply put up with grave injustice (especially if it is destroying us from within), nor should we allow ourselves to become so arrogant that we assume our will (or perhaps, more accurately, our whim) is automatically God’s will.
Like the previous book, this is an easy read, and it feels as though you are having a friendly chat with the author over a cup of coffee.
Starting Over is a simple collection of reflections that is worth reading and returning to from time to time, whether or not you consider yourself a believer. It simply speaks to anyone struggling through life.
And for that reason, I’ll definitely be picking up another book by this author in the near future.
Rating: 3.5/5
Worth your time if: you’ve read this psychologist’s previous books, you enjoy motivational letters and reflections with Christian themes…
Number of pages: 159
Publication year: 2023 (originally published in 2022)
Where to buy: Local bookstore | Church
